Break the Ice
by aperfectsong
Summary: -Complete- When Riku is raped, she freezes and separates herself from Risa and Daisuke. Who hurt Riku? Why? A story of tragedy and losing yourself in it. R for rape and suicide references.
1. An Elegy For What Was Lost

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters... yada yada yada… 

I wrote this because I have yet to see a serious DN Angel fanfic that used Riku as a main character. Personally, I think she has a more important character in the series that the anime gives her credit for. Warning: There is some violence and situations that may not be appropriate for young children. Also, there is a lot of angst and possibly some morbid-ness down the road. Might possibly include some shounen-ai in the future, I'm not sure yet. 

The story is trying to show that some experiences are not easily overcame, yet it's still possible with enough support and mental strength. This story deals with rape, so if they isn't something you feel like reading about, turn back now. 

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It was past curfew. The silhouette of a fourteen-year-old girl limped slowly up the staircase, her footsteps echoing through the hall. Her rapid, gasping breaths did not match the pace in which she climbed. After a brief pause atop the stairs, Harada Riku retreated to her bedroom, careful as not to wake her sleeping sister. However, Risa had long since fallen asleep to the wind's whispered lullabies. 

Shakily, Riku removed her tattered clothing and deposited it into a pile on her bedroom floor. Her eyes seemed to be fixated on a deep cut above her right breast; blood, frozen and dried by the winter wind had coated her skin. Her trembling fingers trailed the incision, the way a blade might have. _Why?_ A pained expression came across her face as she took a shivering breath and let her hand fall lifelessly to her side. Riku reached up behind herself and unclasped the back of her bra causing the plum colored bruise along her breastbone to become visible. She disappeared into her closet and returned shortly after, pulling a baggy shirt over her head. Riku used her foot to push her blood-laden clothing under her bed before finally climbing in. A million questions she didn't want to answer would be asked if Risa saw… 

It was a sleepless night. Riku would close her eyes only to be tormented by the most terrible of nightmares. A permanent cold sweat surrounded her, plaguing her with the constant feeling of ice. In a half-sleep state, her body was ripped apart again and again. _I have to stop thinking about it._ It was this repetition that caused her mind to shatter like a record released by a quivering hand. She tossed and turned until her body was tangled up in bed sheets, until her pillow was soaked through by sweat and by tears. Riku's mind replayed the same scene, a scene full of pain and confusion. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to remove the curse from her body, or to remove her body from the world. 

Her eyes glanced nervously around the room, to the door, to the window. Was it possible for anyone to break in? She didn't know. She hoped not. The thought of notifying the police never occurred to her. Her first intention was to sleep. Everything was always better in the morning. 

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Sometime during the long night Riku must have fallen asleep, for the morning sun had already begun to rise. _It was just a dream. _

"Riku if you don't wake up for school you're going to be late for practice." Risa yelled as she pounded on her elder sister's locked door. "Rikuuuu! Wake up!!" As Riku began to slide out of bed, she felt a sharp pain on her chest. _It was just a dream. It was just a dream. _She tried to sit up, but the thin layer of skin holding her cut together ripped; warm blood began dripping down her breast. _It wasn't a dream._ Riku laid back down to stop the cut from reopening completely. The redhead pulled the blanket over her head in effort to dilute the sun's piercing rays. "RIKUUUU!!" 

"I'm not going." Riku spoke in a pained voice. How could she possibly go to practice, or even school if she couldn't get out of bed? _It couldn't have happened like that. He couldn't have. He wouldn't have. There is just no way… _Blood collected beneath her fingernails as she traced the open scar. Her dirty fingernail peeled away the old, dried blood, causing the new and fresh to wipe away her memory._ What happened? _

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Go review! 


	2. A Reflection Shattered

Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who commented. I'm going to try and keep updates moving--maybe one every three days or so. I was planning on having this chapter be a bit longer, but I decided it was better to end it where I did. Oh yeah, if it wasn't obvious, the words in _italics_ are Riku's thoughts. Well, onto the chapter! 

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The sun was high in the sky before Riku pulled the blankets from her head—she had managed peaceful, dreamless sleep that morning, a relief from the hellish nightmares she had suffered the night before. The birds outside chirped, a sign that spring was on its way. Riku listened to their sweet melody as she contemplated getting out of bed or not. Although she tried to block it out of her mind, she asked her self the same question over and over again. _Why?_ Except now, she wasn't even completely sure it had happened the way she remembered. The only thing she knew for sure was that she was with Daisuke. 

After her sister left for school, Riku found herself feeling more alone than ever before. All she wanted was to let someone in, to let someone know what was going on inside her, but how could she tell about something she wasn't exactly sure of? The cuts and bruises made her sure something had happened. With her hand covering her worst scar, Riku slid out from under the covers and made her way to the bathroom to inspect the damage done to her body the previous night. 

Upon reaching the bathroom, Riku removed her clothing to stare at the scars stretched across her body. The figure reflected back at her was that of a stranger. "Why?" She screamed. "Why would he do this to me? It doesn't make any sense!" she choked through uncontrolled sobs as she crumpled to the ground; her naked, mutilated body twisted around itself. 

She had been wrong. It wasn't better in the morning. 

The throbbing ache she had been ignoring the past night hit her with full force. Still sobbing, Riku stood up and stumbled to the medicine cabinet. After a careful inspection, she removed three extra strength painkillers from their bottle and took them straight—without water. 

Her head was no longer her own. Instead, she was forced to share it with haunting memories, memories that should not have plagued the mind of a fourteen-year-old child. In one night, her innocence had been taken away from her; the very innocence she tried to keep for so long was gone forever. In moment of fury, Riku swung her arm as hard and as fast as she could at the mirror, shattering it into millions of tiny glass bullets. The flying glass mocked her; she had again caused her own destruction. 

Not bothering to avoid the broken glass, Riku staggered to the bathtub while the jagged glass pushed its way into her tender skin. She turned the faucet on cold and sat at the edge waiting for the bath to fill. When it had finished, she slipped into the ice water without even the slightest shiver. The water tinted red with her entrance, but she didn't seem to notice. She placed her newly wounded hand under the running faucet to watch the blood mix with water. A peculiar sort of curiosity came across her face. 

After she was done in the bath, Riku dressed herself in a dirty pair of jeans and a red long sleeve shirt. Shit. What am I going to do about the mirror? Should I leave it? Maybe I'll just throw the glass away. She picked up the glass quickly, and wiped the blood from the floor before addressing her dirty clothing from the night before. Because school was just about out for the day, Riku threw the clothes into the back of her closet and decided to wait until another time (when the house was empty) to clean them. She then made her bed and unlocked her bedroom door just as Risa arrived home. 

"I wish I had stayed home today too. You missed cooking class." Risa exclaimed, walking into her twin's room. "Why'd you stay home anyway?" 

"Couldn't get up." 

"Oh. Hey, Niwa-kun was asking about you today. I told him you were obviously faking sick. He was worried because you didn't call him after you got home last night." She explained while fingering little trinkets on Riku's shelf. "He's probably going to call you when he gets home though." 

"Okay." Riku answered with both hands behind her back. 

Ring, ring. 

Riku moved from her uncomfortable spot next to her bed to answer the phone, causing her sister to leave the room. 

"Moshi, moshi." 

"Riku-san?" He questioned worriedly, although he knew it was Riku from her voice. 

"Mm. Konichi wa, Niwa-kun." 

"How are you doing? Weren't you sick today?" Daisuke was always a worrier, just like his mother. 

"Not really. Tired maybe." 

"Did you get some rest?" His voice still sounded concerned. 

"Some." She didn't mean to answer every question so nonchalantly, but she couldn't really let him know what was bothering her. It would only worry him more. 

"The snow is starting to melt, finally. Think you can go outside tonight? I really need to see you." 

"I'm still tired, so I should probably stay in." He couldn't tell from her voice that she had lied to him. That's what the problem with Daisuke was. He was too naive. 

"Oh. Well I hope you're feeling better. Since you can't go out, do you think I could stop by for a few minutes after dinner?" He asked timidly. "I need to talk to you." 

"Yeah, I guess. I'll see you then. Bye Niwa-kun." 

"Ja ne, Riku-san." 

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Please read and review!! Thanks! 


	3. A White Abyss

Yes, this chapter is rated R for a reason. This is your **WARNING**, one of the following scenes is pretty graphic and if you don't like reading that sort of thing please don't. Otherwise, please continue reading and please comment to let me know what you think. Thanks for all the comments I got!! –feels really special- I'm glad you guys like it. 

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Riku spent the next hour or so wandering around the house, avoiding her sister. Although Risa wasn't the more observant of the two, Riku knew that she'd be able to tell there was something wrong. At dinner, Riku had her first meal of the day, surrounded by the house workers. Risa had gone out with her friends and their parents were never around to begin with. 

By the time Daisuke arrived, Riku had just finished eating dinner and was sitting at the table alone. One of the butlers must have let him in. "Hello Riku-san." 

"Hey, Niwa-kun." She motioned for him to follow her upstairs and began walking. If there was one thing that made her angry, it was nosy house workers. If they had stayed downstairs, their full conversation would have been memorized and relayed to Risa and to every other person in the house. They walked up the stairs without conversation, Daisuke's eyes wandering around the hallway. He hadn't been invited to the Harada's very many times, so he stole all the glances he could during his short visits. They both entered her room, and Riku closed the door behind him. Daisuke was a polite boy and instead of sitting on Riku's bed as she had done, he pulled up a chair from the desk. "What did you want to talk about?" 

The question caught him off guard, but he managed an answer. "Dark." He paused. Dark wasn't exactly Riku's favorite topic, but after seeing no annoyance on her face, he continued. "It's just… I'm having trouble getting used to him not being around anymore. It just feels like it shouldn't have ended so fast, like there should have been something else." He looked to Riku for a comment, but she had none. "I've been having these crazy dreams where Dark is out there…" His voice trailed off and an uncomfortable silence filled the room. 

After collecting her thoughts, Riku spoke. "Gomen, Niwa-kun. I don't know what you want me to say… What else is happening in these dreams?" 

"I can just see Dark out there in this abyss. Every time, he yells to me." He looked Riku in the eyes. "He told me to watch out for you and every time I'd ask him if there was a reason why, he would disappear. It doesn't feel like a dream; it feels like it's real life. I have a feeling something bad is going to happen." _Already did, Niwa-kun. You're a little too late._

"Maybe." She replied. "Listen Niwa-kun, I really have to be getting ready for bed soon. Maybe you should go." It was obvious she hit a nerve with that suggestion; it wasn't even night yet. When Riku reached her right hand out to open the door, she must have forgotten that she had been trying to conceal her injury. By the time she saw and remembered, it was too late. His vision was focused on her deformity. 

"Riku-san! What happened to your hand?" He asked, concerned, eyes fixated on her dried bloody mess. 

"Nothing." She snapped, "The mirror broke on me this morning." 

"Come here. Let me see." With that, he gently grabbed her arm, intending to get a closer look and help if he could. 

"Don't touch me!" She half-yelled, ripping her arm away from his reach. "Just leave. I'm going to bed." His expression showed that he was clearly hurt, but Riku didn't notice. She rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door, leaving Daisuke alone to walk himself out. 

After he left, she sank down against the bathroom door, crying. She didn't mean to take it out on Daisuke. He hadn't done anything wrong, unless caring too much counted. Riku thought about what he had said, about Dark; there wasn't one part she could make sense out of. She stood up, walked over to the sink, and splashed water on her tear-stricken face. Next, she opened the bathroom door and walked back into her room to climb under the covers. 

She sat awake in bed for a long time after that, listening to the house workers make busy, listening for the familiar sound of Risa's door opening and closing. She had gotten home while Daisuke was still there, but was probably told to leave Riku and Daisuke alone. She was probably around to see him leave, asked a hundred questions about their fight, and probably asked if Daisuke noticed a change in Riku as well. 

Or not. 

She didn't feel very tired at first. She actually felt wide-awake, but the fearful type of awake. She was alert. Riku didn't know if she was so awake because she was overtired or because she wasn't tired at all. As she lay awake, her eyes darted to every corner, to every shadow that seemed to be alive only when her eyes were somewhere else. 

--- 

The walk home was grim; snow from the flurries a few nights ago was still around but had already turned black with pollution, thus forming sludge. She kicked at the sludge while she walked along. She wasn't at all scared to walk home at night. While other kids were scared of shadows, ghosts, and secrets lurking around the corners, she had never been. She was actually just the opposite—the darkness intrigued her. She walked along, humming a song to herself when she saw him. He called to her, told her he wanted to show her something, and of course she went. They were friends after all. 

They finally reached the back of a long forgotten building. She doubted ever seeing it in her life before realizing the dark had a way of distorting her eyesight. The boy then pulled out a sharpened knife, and putting it close to her face he whispered, "Don't make a sound or I'll cut you." She sort of whimpered at his order, or maybe just took a gasped breath. With malice in his eyes, he grabbed her and threw her to the ground. The ice beneath her shattered, forming jagged blades, which proceeded to make minuscule wounds across the back of her body. 

He cast away her jacket and ripped her shirt straight down the middle. His blade felt cold on her skin, and he let it rest above her right breast before slowly pushing it in deeper and deeper into her flesh. He let the agony last, dragging the blade across her chest slowly as possible, all while pushing it further and further in. The pain gripped her body and she tried to scream, but his other hand covered her mouth. 

The boy placed his lips to her wound as if drinking the blood. It was smeared around his mouth, which he, almost instantly, pressed against hers. The taste of blood stained her tongue. He removed his face from hers, and began reaching his right hand to her leg. Her teeth managed to find their way into the flesh of his right hand, still grasping the blade. She bit hard—seeking blood, but finding none. It was as if all the blood in the world was flowing from her body. His left hand wandered around beside her, and eventually grabbed a piece of ice. She closed her eyes and felt the ice come down violently against her chest. The blade found its way to her arms—the arms that were dangling hopelessly beside her as if they belonged to a rag doll. She felt no pain as he cut her arms repeatedly; they were numb from lying against the ice. 

The hand with the blade moved its way to her pants, and ripped its way through the flap next to her zipper. The blade was passed to the left hand and held tightly, hovering above her stomach. She didn't dare take a breath. His right hand went in between her legs, and her heart skipped a beat. "If you scream, I'll kill you." She knew he wasn't lying. "I swear I'll slit your throat before you take a breath." While he touched her, she bit down hard on her upper lip until she tasted the saltiness of blood on her tongue. His hands went then to his own pants, which he unfastened with ease. Her eyes closed tightly as she tried her hardest not to make a sound. She felt him inside of her, she felt his body slam violently into hers then jerk backward and forward again. Each time, the knife in his left hand created a new wound on her stomach. Her body felt as if it was on fire before she realized what was happening. She held her breath; she decided that suffocation would be a better fate. 

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Don't you love cliffhangers? Go reply! 


	4. Prick Your Finger

I'm sorry that it took so long to update. I wasnt really in a writing mood, and was temporarily using Inuyasha fanfiction to consume my life. Hehe. Thanks to everyone who has read and replied. This one's pretty short, but more should be coming sometime over the weekend.

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She awoke once again in a cold sweat. Her worst cut must have opened again sometime during the night because a small outline of blood was imprinted onto her shirt. Feverishly angry, Riku slammed her head into her pillow. Her sister shouted for her to get up for school, but Riku once again said that she wasn't going. As Risa began to protest, Riku quickly yelled that it was none of her business if she stayed home or not.

"Fine!" Risa screamed as she stomped off to the shower. 

After Risa left for school, Riku became even more irritated. She was furious at herself for following him that night. If someone like him could do that, what was there left to trust? There was nothing she could count on, not even Daisuke being there for her. She knew too well about Satoshi's fixation on Daisuke. Although she knew that he cared about her, she was never too sure about the relationship between the two boys. It was one of the few things that baffled her; she didn't mean to label the two, but she could tell there was something different about them. Perhaps it was the way they were united because of Dark and Krad, or something else. 

Daisuke and Riku had been a couple since the night they spent under the stars. Riku wished she could go back to those days, the days before she was let in on Daisuke's biggest secret (Dark), the days when she still had her innocence. She knew that what happened would be with her for the rest of her life. 

There were so many questions that would remain questions because they weren't something to be asked. 

She didn't find it possible to return to school that day, or ever again. She didn't find it possible to live with what happened, so she decided not to. 

It was about nine, an hour or so after Risa had left for school. Riku staggered to the bathroom and removed the dull blade from her razor, replacing it with a one more pristine. Never before had she even dreamt of what she was about to do. She didn't even know what to do. She had heard of people slitting their wrists and understood that it had meant to cut a particular vein that would increase the blood flow. Although unsure of which vein it was, she decided that she'd eventually figure it out, or lose all of her blood trying. 

She walked back into her room, razor in hand, and sat herself on the floor near her bed. Deciding to aim for the dark vein in the center of her wrist, she tested the blade on her index finger. A single droplet of blood emerged, enough to provide satisfaction. Her right hand trembled as she brought the blade closer to her flesh. 

She felt embarrassed about what had happened. Embarrassed. It hadn't been her fault in any way, yet she was ashamed to tell anyone. She was about to end her own life because she was embarrassed and held too much pride to seek help. With the blade burning its way through her thin layer of skin, something unexpected happened. Her window shattered at a young boy punched his way through. Little did she know, he had been standing on her balcony since before she sat down. 

"Riku-san!" He screamed, with tears rolling down his face. "Riku-san. Please stop it." 

Her eyes too filled with tears as she recognized Daisuke now standing on her bedroom floor, among mixture of glass and blood. The razor she had been holding so tightly fell from her grip and her sobs began to echo through the small room. To Daisuke, her body seemed weak—pale—destroyed. His eyes pleaded with hers, begging to know the reason for her pain. 

She looked away. 

He rested his arm gently on hers, but she pulled herself from his reach. "What's wrong Riku-san?" He asked, confused. She still wouldn't let him touch her. He noticed the bruises on her fragile arms and the cuts that now took control of her frail body. He vaguely wondered if she herself had caused them, or someone else. "Riku-san. I'm here to help you. I promise I won't hurt you." 

She didn't answer. 

"Let me clean you up?" he questioned lightly, hoping for some response. She provided none. "Riku-san, please," he reached for her once more and she squirmed out of his reach once again. "It hurts to see you in this pain." That remark got her attention. 

"It hurts **you** to see me in pain?" she seethed through closed teeth, "It's nothing compared to what happened to me." Riku, with her now trembling hand, picked up the razor again in attempt to finish what she started. 

"Riku-san! No! Stop it." He yelled while reached for the razor, pulling it from her grasp. She simply walked over to the place where the glass had fallen and promptly retried a large shard of the glass only to hover it over her left wrist. The glass was sharper than the razor was and would finish the job she set out to do.

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Read and review and don't worry, there was a reason for Daisuke being outside her window! I swear! 


	5. An Implausible Foe?

Thanks for all my readers that are sticking with this fic! Thanks for reviewing. This chapter is about a page longer than the last one, which is a good thing. The last chapter was a bit too short for my tastes. =D

It's fairly easy to do damage to a character, the hard part is fixing the problems. Let me know how I'm doing. If anyone seems to out of character, let me know. By the way, I don't actually think my Riku is OOC based on the situation. If I had been raped, I probably would have killed myself already. It's because I'm a thinker. Riku's a thinker too. It's harder for people who think a lot because it gives them a lot to think about. Pretty stressful if you ask me. But if you think so, let me know! Well enough of my rambling, enjoy the chapter. 

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Riku wasn't acting like herself, he knew that much. While leaping toward her to remove the glass from her hand, his mind demanded to know what happened. _Why would she do this to herself?_ He ripped the glass from her, cutting his own palm in the process, then placed his arms around her waist and gently lifted her off the floor. He stayed silent, despite her yelling and kicking. _What happened to my Riku-san?_ Daisuke knew that the house was empty so he carried Riku into her bathroom to clean the blood from her body. 

"Leave me alone Niwa-kun," she whimpered as he began to soak her arms with a washcloth. He didn't answer her plea and instead kept trying to clean her up. Daisuke let her go so he could look for something to bandage her wounds with. To his surprise, she sat still on the rim of the tub watching him open the bathroom cabinets quickly. After finding what he was looking for, he put bandages on her worst cuts—including the one across her fist from the pervious day. He washed the blood from his own palm and covered it with a small bandage. Daisuke ignored the small cuts on his arms that he had received from her balcony window. He hadn't even planned to enter her room; he just wanted to keep an eye on her. Breaking the window was the last thing he saw himself doing, but he did it without thinking. 

His Riku-san needed him. 

"I wasn't going to do it," she spoke timidly, "I couldn't do it." Her eyes were downcast, staring at the bathroom tile—memorizing the patterns. If life was as simple as the patterns on her bathroom tile… "I was too scared." Daisuke's eyes were still fixated on the top of her head. Never before had she seemed so weak to him. With him standing tall, looking down at her shivering form, she seemed increasingly small. He missed her strength. 

Calmly, he offered her his hand and she took it, allowing him to lead her back into her bedroom. Daisuke needed to know what happened if he was going to help. If only he knew how to ask the question that had been tearing at his mind, begging to be spoken since he first saw the razor in her hand. They sat on her bed for a few minutes in silence, neither knowing exactly what to say. Daisuke didn't know if he should ask her again, or if she would tell him. He didn't want to push her. He didn't want to do anything to make her push him away. 

Riku didn't want to tell him what happened. She knew he wanted to ask, but she didn't want him to know. She didn't want anyone to know. Riku decided to ask him a question before he had a chance to ask his. "Why were you watching me?" she questioned, catching him off guard. Before he could think of an answer, his mouth spoke for him. 

"I had a dream." He spoke simply, as if that was all there was to it. Daisuke thought back to the dream he had. It started with Dark in an empty white room, the intensity of the light had disabled Daisuke's focus, but Dark had been very intent on informing him about something or other. It took Dark's hand on his shoulder for Daisuke to pay attention. Dark had told him to go save his Riku-san, to watch over here, and that she was in danger. When Daisuke had opened his mouth in question, Dark vanished, leaving Daisuke alone in the light. He suddenly realized Riku was talking to him again and snapped out of his trance. "What did you say?" 

"What does your dream have to do with you being outside on my balcony during school hours?" She repeated for the third time, hoping he was listening because she wasn't going to repeat herself again. 

"Dark told me to save you." He explained, "He told me to watch over you." She seemed to have accepted his answer because she didn't ask anything else. "Why were you hurting yourself?" Daisuke asked her quietly. 

"I already told you I didn't. I couldn't do it." 

"Then what about all the marks on your arms? And your hand?" He hesitated, knowing she had the potential to get really angry with him for asking. "What happened to you?" 

"I didn't hurt myself on purpose. I broke a mirror in the bathroom yesterday." She replied, almost too quickly, almost like she had prepared to lie to him. Riku realized that he had seen through her statement and didn't want to accept her answer. 

"Why wont you tell me what really happened?" he asked quietly, with a hint of hurt in his voice. 

"Because you won't like it." She almost whispered in reply. 

Daisuke didn't know what to say, so instead he waited for her to say something else. Of course he wouldn't like something that resulted in her injury, but he still wanted to help her. "Was it someone else who hurt you?" 

"Yeah…" Riku turned away then reached upward to pull on her shirt collar; she pulled it down just enough for her unhealed scar to show itself. Slowly turning back to Daisuke, her eyes met his before he gazed down at what she was trying to show him. He gasped and immediately ran to the bathroom, returning with a wet washcloth and a large bandage. 

"Better?" he asked, getting a nod in response, "You should see a doctor." She then sighed, realizing that she was about to spill the secret that she had tried to hard to cover up for the past two days. 

"He raped me." 

Daisuke's mind went blank. He wasn't prepared for the news and she knew it. _That's what she didn't want to tell me._ Her last words echoed through his mind during the awkward silence they shared. Suddenly, he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to help her. He wanted to track the guy down and kill him, strip him of the life he had changed, but somehow he knew he wouldn't'. He wasn't a murderer. "Do you know who it was? We could tell the police." 

"I know who it was," she said softly, "But…" She said no more. 

"Who was it? Riku-san, you have to tell the police." He exclaimed knowing justice could be achieved. 

"He wasn't himself… there was something wrong." She had just defended her rapist. Her statement had completely confused Daisuke. Didn't she want justice too? 

"Riku-san, who was it?" he repeated, hoping she would answer. 

Daisuke's mind spun out of control at the word she spoke next. He couldn't breath any longer. Never before had he felt such anger and betrayal. He thought that his heart was going to jump out of his throat. Once again, he didn't know what to do. He didn't even know if he could control his growing hatred and confusion. The word she spoke killed him; along with "rapist" it ricocheted off the walls of his head— 

"…Saehara..." she had whispered.

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Please review and don't kill me for using Saehara... I love Saehara, I really do... Just keep reading because this isnt one of those I'm-using-him-cuz-theres-nobody-else-stories. Just wait till you see what what's going to happen. It's going to be another suprise. I like surprises! Dont you? 


	6. Trust is a Virtue

Notes;;  
Sorry that took so long, I became really mesmerized by my websites--two new layouts in two days… that must be a record or something. (shootingstarrs.com) if you feel like checking it out. The other layout I made is on my writing site in which I'm sure you'll find the link to. Anyway, back to the story. Sorry it took so long, here is the next chapter. It's kinda short, but better than nothing? Thanks for the replies, and thanks for reading even though I just murdered your image of Saehara Takeshi. I love him; I swear I do. J And I wouldn't make him be the rapist unless I had a reason, so if you stick around, you'll find my reason. Yes, bribery. It works.

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"What?" Daisuke blinked, not believing what she had said. _Why would he do that? He wouldn't._

"I knew you wouldn't believe me," she turned to face the opposite wall, "I told you, he wasn't acting like himself." He sat still, listening to her breath escape as she gasped and released. He wanted to believe her, he really did. He just didn't know. "You don't believe me. You think I'm doing this for your attention?" Again, he stayed silent without knowing what to do. She moved in a jerking movement and reached her hands beneath her bed. Daisuke sat watching, perplexed, wondering if she was going to bring forth evidence to support her claim. He saw that his feeling was correct when her hands came out from under the bed, holding her blood-laden clothing from that night… "You think I'd make myself bleed this much for your goddamn attention?" she yelled, thrusting the clothes into his lap. 

The smell of dried blood clogged his senses, but he had enough mind to answer her assertion. "I never said I didn't believe you," he exclaimed gently, removing the clothing from his lap. "I know you wouldn't do this to yourself. I believe you." He turned away. "But, there has to be some explanation for all of this." Because it was Riku-san and Takeshi, he found it difficult to decide whether or not to believe her. Not because he didn't trust Riku, but because he trusted them both. 

"Do you really? Or are you just saying that?" she asked, somewhat unknowingly. 

"I do, Riku-san." He replied, then suddenly remembering the situation at hand, he turned back to face her. "Are you all right?" 

"I'm fine." His eyes showed that he didn't believe her, but she shrugged it off. 

"I'm really sorry for being so inconsiderate. Just know that I'll always be there for you, no matter what happens." 

"I know," her eyes seemed to get softer as she spoke, "Thanks Niwa-kun." 

At that moment, he wanted to kiss her, to hug her even; anything to show that he loved her. Instead of letting his emotions get the best of him, Daisuke thought about it and decided against his former idea. He didn't know if he could touch her, he didn't know if she'd be angry or scared, or if it would bring back the memories. He just said, "Your welcome." Together, they picked up the glass from the window Daisuke had broken, with him apologizing throughout the whole ordeal. He said he would pay for it though she told him it didn't matter. Her family was wealthy; they could afford to replace a window. 

After promising that he wouldn't confront Saehara, and making her promise not to hurt herself, Daisuke and Riku said goodbye. This time, she showed him out and watched from the doorway as he walked down the street, until finally, he disappeared from her sight. She soundlessly walked up the staircase to her own bedroom and picked up a book from the bookshelf. The book would be a great distraction from the pain that had never left her body since that night. Soon enough, the story stole her hopes and fears, and even her conscious, as she became mesmerized. Anything to take her mind off the nightmare she was living. 

She was a victim. 

She knew it; Daisuke knew it, as did someone else. Being a victim was something completely new to her. Before, she would never have thought of herself as weak. Riku was always able to stand up for herself, against any of the others in her class, even against her sister. However, things change. She no longer felt qualified to stand up for herself. A small push would knock her down. She knew this, but she didn't know what to do about it. 

Little did she know; he was a victim too. 

--- 

Review please… 


	7. A Savior?

author's notes;;  
Sorry this chapter took so long! I was really busy this weekend with choir and everything else. Also, it was finished two days ago, but FFNet was having technical problems and wasnt letting people sign in. Thanks for the reviews, and thanks even more for the criticism! I I understand that a lot of people find Riku out of character... Sorry about that. I'm just basing it off myself (I'm sure I've said this already) because I think I'm a bit like Riku. Rape isnt something people get over fast. It causes depression, cutting and suicide, among other things. Riku is stubborn; everyone knows it. Before asking for help, she'd take it into her own hands.

"I think you should have drawn out the story more before you came to the confrentation between she and Daisuke" thanks for the suggestion and it will be taken into mind when I rewrite this, if I ever do. :) Oh yeah, this chapter switches point of view a few times, if it's confusing at all, let me know.

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Saehara Takeshi walked home from school slowly, eyes lingering on the melting ice, legs moving at a steady pace. He was thinking. Daisuke had left school even before the lunch bell rang and Riku hadn't been at school since a few days before that. He was trying to find a reason for the two events to be connected—he had a feeling they were. 

He, on the other hand, had only stayed home from school one day that week. The reason being that he had a horrible headache and a few bruises in which he couldn't remember receiving. The whole night before that seemed as a blur to him. He shrugged it off. Suddenly, a very familiar redhead entered his personal space at a speed to fast for his liking. They collided, resulting in both of them to stumble to the pavement. 

"Heeey, Daisuke!" he yelled, picking himself and the redhead off the ground, "Where've ya been?" The redhead simply cocked his head in a direction aiming toward the Harada's residence. "OOH, I see. Some one-on-one time with the girlfriend, eh? How was that?" 

Obviously, Saehara had overlooked his friend's seemingly cooler attitude toward him. "Nothing like that." Daisuke exclaimed, solemnly before returning to silence. 

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked, puzzled. 

Daisuke's eyes widened—he couldn't believe Saehara was asking if _he_ did something _wrong_. Remembering his promise to Riku-san, he turned and began heading for his home. Takeshi noticed this and moved himself in front of his friend's path. "What did I do?" 

"You know what you did." Daisuke didn't want to spell it out or break his promise to Riku, but he was far too honest to ignore Saehara. 

"No, actually I don't. Why don't you fill me in?" 

"No." He tried to stand by his answer. Saehara could see him falter. 

"C'mon Daisuke. If I was pissed at you I would have told you why already." Daisuke began having doubts as to what Riku told him; he knew better than to doubt her, but Saehara was oblivious. As Daisuke was still contemplating whether or not to answer, his shoulder was pulled back, shifting his view. "Heeey, Daisuke and I were in the middle of a conversation," Takeshi shouted at Satoshi. 

"This is more important, by far." His voice echoed in Daisuke's ears; it held intensity to it, and he could tell it was the bad sort of intensity. Satoshi yanked Daisuke away. He was just glad to get away from Saehara; the promise to Riku-san had almost been broken. 

"What's going on?" he asked his captor as they entered a dark alleyway and Daisuke regained enough composure to walk without Satoshi dragging him. 

"Shhh… I'll tell you in a minute," Satoshi exclaimed, like a frustrated parent. They walked through the alley and down the next street until they reached Satoshi's apartment. After unlocking the door, Satoshi gestured for Daisuke to enter before closing the door behind them. 

"What is it?" Daisuke asked, suddenly afraid of what he might hear. 

"You've been having dreams with Dark in them." He began, pausing for a nod from Daisuke, "What did he tell you about Krad?" 

"What??? He didn't mention Krad at all. The only thing he told me was to watch out for Riku-san." The question had caught Daisuke completely by surprise with his mind focused only on Riku. 

"Are you sure he didn't mention Krad?" 

"Yes. Why?" He asked, still confused as to why he had to walk all the way here for that. 

"I think Krad is breaking the seal to the dark wings. That's the reason for them being back in our dreams. It's only a matter of time until he destroys it completely." Daisuke hadn't realized Dark's secrecy when he appeared in his dreams could have anything to do with Krad. 

"But, they'll just end up sharing bodies with us again, won't they?" Daisuke questioned the older boy. In a way, he wanted Dark to return to his body. He missed him. 

"No." He paused, "Niwa-kun, they're sealed now. They are no longer connected to our bodies alone." 

"Wait, they're still sealed…aren't they?" Daisuke asked, suddenly realizing that potential for danger in the outcome of the current situation. 

"Not completely. Or else they wouldn't be in our dreams." He sighed. 

The thought suddenly occurred to Daisuke that Satoshi had included himself in his previous statement. "Did Krad tell you this?" 

"More or less. Watch yourself Niwa-kun. I don't know what he's capable of. I just know that he wants to hurt us for sealing him." Daisuke meekly nodded. "Ask Dark tonight if he knows what's going on." 

"I will. Bye Hiwatari-kun." 

"Ja ne." He spoke, once again in his cool tone. He always sounded so much more mature than he really was. He was, after all, only a fourteen-year-old boy. 

Satoshi opened the door for his friend then closed it behind him. It was going to be another long, sleepless night. He needed to get rid of Krad for good; he knew that if he didn't stop him, Krad would be after Daisuke in whatever way he found possible. Krad was his burden—not Daisuke's. The last thing he wanted was for Krad to hurt Daisuke. He didn't mind it so much when it was himself, but Daisuke didn't deserve the pain Krad was sure to bring. He had to get rid of him. He had to. For Daisuke… 

After the door closed behind him, the redhead sprinted all the way home in attempt to avoid another confrontation with Saehara. Thoughts danced around in Daisuke's mind to the sound of his feet on the pavement. Because of his earlier conversation with Saehara he wasn't sure of the credibility of Riku's story any longer. But, it was unlike her to lie, especially to him. 

And the bruises… He winced at their memory. His Riku-san wasn't the same and he still couldn't tell if he loved her less for it. The image of her with a knife in her hand wouldn't leave his mind no matter how hard he tried to erase it. She had been so innocent, much like he had been. It seemed the time passed since the night they first kissed was a lifetime. It was so unlike her… 

Then he had Krad to worry about. That constant threat had returned and he would need to be on the watch for anything suspicious. Daisuke wasn't exactly sure if he could handle everything all at once, but knew he had to. It wouldn't be impossible, just difficult. That night he would talk to Dark and form a plan to take care of everything. Dark would be his savior. 

---

Go reply with a CRITICISM! :) 


	8. Further Into The Emptiness

I'm sorry it took so long to update this, school and choir have been hectic! I was also busy with a short story for a writing contest I'm going to for school; hopefully, what I'm entering is better than this story is turning out. Haha. I also wrote a Harry Potter fanfic for an online contest, which I will most likely post on here sometime. This chapter is pretty short, feel free to throw tomatoes of something at me. I deserve it.

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Although it had been an hour since Risa had arrived home from school, her sister was still locked in her room. She didn't even ask what she missed at school. _Something must have happened. She's never acted this way before._ Because of the negative attitude her sister was displaying, Risa decided that it was time for an interrogation. She knew Riku would be angry with her, but she couldn't get the thought out of her mind that something bad had happened. 

She stood in front of the door, and while breathing slowly, she began to knock. "What?" Riku asked, annoyed. 

"Can I come in?" the younger sister questioned. 

"Fine." 

Upon entering, Risa saw the mess of clothes that littered her sister's usually clean room. "Riku." She paused, unsure of what to say, "Something happened to you and I'm not leaving this room until you tell me what it is." The older twin said nothing. "Did something happen between you and Niwa-kun? You haven't been the same since that night you went to his house." 

"This has nothing to do with Niwa-kun." Riku answered, just as a dirty shirt on the floor became very interesting to her. 

"Well, what is it? Riku, you can tell me. We're twins, we're the same." 

"No, we're not the same. Not anymore," her eyes were still focused to the floor. Risa couldn't tell, but she had a vague thought that her sister was crying. 

"Please tell me what happened." 

"Don't you understand? I can't." Risa could now see the tears dripping down her sister's face as the redhead lifted her gaze from the carpet. "He'll hurt me again." 

"Who hurt you, Riku? They won't be able to hurt you again. We could tell the police and--" 

"No!" she screamed, interrupting Risa. "He didn't know what he was doing. I could tell." 

"What happened, Riku? Was it Niwa-kun?" 

"NO!" Riku yelled, paining her younger sister's ears. "This has nothing to do with Niwa-kun!! It was…" The next word was spoken inaudibly. 

"Who?" 

"Takeshi." Riku whispered, "But it wasn't him. He didn't even sound like Takeshi." 

"Riku, what did he do to you?" 

"He didn't do it." 

"Didn't do what?" 

- 

Daisuke went to sleep early that night, in hopes of having more time for a conversation with Dark. Soon after falling asleep, he found himself in the middle of the familiar abyss, staring into an unexpected face. It was Krad. _Not him! Where's Dark?_ He thought of yelling for his other self, but could not find the voice. It was as if the air had been sucked clean of oxygen. 

"She won't last." 

"What?" Daisuke choked. 

"Your girlfriend is weak. She's going to kill herself. She's going to make it bloody." He smirked. 

"Riku-san is not weak and she's not one to give up," he replied, evidence of his phony calm arising with the shakiness of his voice. Daisuke looked down at his hands and imagined Riku once again holding the knife. _It is possible. She almost did it in front of me. Now that I'm not there to stop her…what if she…?_

"She won't live through the night." 

"You lying. She couldn't hurt herself and she promised me. I trust her." 

"No you don't. You doubted her before, within reason of course." Daisuke turned away from Krad. He's right, but how does he know? "You were correct to question Takeshi's involvement, like a simple boy as he is would be able to create a masterpiece from a body like hers. Impossible. He didn't have a mind for beauty of that magnitude. 

"Using his body was an ingenious idea on my part. No one would ever believe that Takeshi Saehara was capable of rape and mutilation. And, no one would ever believe that I did it either. The world isn't even aware of my existence." _If I could just get out of here, or find Dark. If Krad is right, I need to hurry before Riku-san hurts herself. I need to be able to stop her._ "You won't find Dark and you won't get out of here until it is too late. She'll be gone." _Is he reading my mind?_

"She wouldn't do it!" He yelled after finding his voice. 

"Even you cannot say that for sure, Daisuke. Dark warned you, but I was right that you wouldn't know what to do. That's why I let him see you. You're too naïve to think that she wouldn't lie to you." 

With one swift movement, Krad yanked Daisuke's arm, dragging the boy further into the abyss. "Where are you taking me?" 

"To watch." He said simply. 


	9. The Finale

Thanks to everyone who reviewed this whole time, I really apprieciate it. I know this story could have been better. I learned a lot while writing this; it is really demanding to write a multi-chapter story.  
I'm already planning another DN Angel fanfic, and next time, not only will my chapters be longer, I will find myself a beta-reader, and spend more time on the story. I promise.

I know this ending is abrupt, but I just want to be finished with the story. I messed up a few things in the beginning--plot holes, that sort of thing. I stopped wanting to write this. Instead of discontinuing it, I gave it an abrupt ending. Sue me. :) ---

Dark sat silently, watching the scene unfold below. No matter what he tried, Daisuke couldn't her him. The feeling of regret was tumbling around in his stomach. Krad had overpowered him; he couldn't understand how it had happened so suddenly, or how Krad was able to do it at all. Krad was pulling Daisuke away. Dark followed them, trying hard to keep up. 

It was like Krad was trying to lose him in the abyss. Dark ran, but his feet were weights being dragged along. He kept his eyes on the pair until they were nothing more than a speck of color, disappearing into the white. 

"Damnit." 

He kept walking in the direction they had disappeared into, but found it was difficult to tell when all around him was the same blinding white. He wandered, losing hope with each step he took. 

  
  
Harada Risa hadn't slept well the night before. Her mind strayed to her sister, to Saehara Takeshi, to Niwa Daisuke. She didn't know how to help, or even if she could. Risa decided she would try and talk to Riku again, in hopes that she would consider seeing a therapist, or at least talking with a teacher. She wandered down the quiet hall leading to her sister's room. It was early and she doubted her sister would be awake yet. Risa knocked on the door. No answer. She gently turned the knob, and pushed the door open a crack, just to peer inside. There were still dirty clothes completely covering the floor. 

She noticed Riku wasn't in her bed. _She's probably in the bathroom._ Risa closed the door slowly, and walked across the hall to the bathroom they shared. Again, she knocked, and upon hearing no reply, she opened the door. 

When she saw the figure of her brave older twin lying on the bathroom tile, her left side covered in sticky blood, she screamed. No more than ten seconds later, the butler and the maids came upon the scene. By that time, Risa was kneeling next to her sister, trying to wake her. 

Riku was still breathing. 

The butler ran off to call the hospital. Risa grabbed onto her sister's left wrist, applying pressure to the source of the blood like she had learned in school. Riku's breathing grew faint and Risa began to sob. Five minutes passed before the medics arrived. Those five minutes were the longest Risa had ever experienced. When they arrived, Risa was nudged out of the way; she watched from a safe distance as they covered the wound and took her sister's pulse. She noticed one medic give another a look of urgency. They ushered Risa from the room and closed the door. She sat with her back to the wall, next to the door. _Don't let her die._ Risa covered her eyes with her hands and concentrated on the warm tears falling into her hands. 

  
  
_Where am I?_ Riku thought. _Am I still alive?_ She remembered lying on the cold floor of her bathroom. She had decided to end her problems, to remove herself completely. But, she was still…somewhere… There was no floor, or walls, or even a ceiling. It was endless white. 

"Damnit." She heard someone utter one word in frustration. Curious, she wandered in the direction of the voice. Riku was surprised to find that her body was no longer sore. Looking down at herself, she noticed that her cuts and bruises were gone. She started running to the voice, eager to run after the days she hadn't been at track. She ran until finally, she saw a speck of color somewhere in the distance. 

"Hey!" She called out, "Where is this place?" The speck turned toward her and began moving in her direction. She kept running and within seconds she was able to tell that it was a person. 

"Harada-san." It was a male's voice, and he sounded worried. Upon coming closer, she could tell the person was Dark. _Dark? Why?_

"Where are we?" She asked him, paying no mind to his concerned tone of voice. 

"I don't know." He answered, "You must be unconscious, or else you wouldn't be here. Why did you…?" She didn't wait for him to finish before turning around and crossing her arms against her chest angrily. "Harada-san. You shouldn't have done it. You shouldn't be here." 

"I did it because I wanted to." She said stubbornly. "It was my choice. It's my life." 

Dark stared at her back. For a second her form seemed to flicker, like a light bulb before it burns out. Her body seemed to dim. "What about your sister, and Daisuke?" 

"What about them?" She flared, turning to face him. 

"They'll miss you." 

"No." She spoke firmly. "I'm not who I was. They don't want me like this." 

"They wouldn't care." Dark said, anxiety lacing his throat as she flickered again. 

"You don't understand." 

"I understand that what you've gone through was hard. But, you're stronger than this. Daisuke has faith in you." 

"He doesn't." 

"Yes he does. He loves you." 

"He doesn't." 

"If he didn't I wouldn't have been forced to leave his body." She flinched at this statement, as if she didn't know of Daisuke's emotions. 

"It doesn't matter anymore. I'm going to die." She said solemnly, her body fading to a dull glow. 

"You still want to live. All you have to do is fight it." Dark didn't know how he knew this, but he felt it was true. 

"I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want to have to look at Takeshi every again. I don't want to see Niwa-kun look at me in disgust again. I felt too alone." She seemed to have ignored his advice. 

"Daisuke isn't disgusted by you. He understands—I can tell that he does. He wants to help you. He's going to kill Krad for using Saehara to hurt you." 

"Krad did this?" 

"Yeah, and Daisuke is going to make him pay." 

"Niwa-kun." Her nearly transparent body somehow became whole again, before disappearing all together. Dark looked to where she had stood, recalling the moment before she was gone, the moment where she was whole again. _She's alive._

  
  
Daisuke bolted out of bed and down the stairs. He ran the entire way to the Harada's house; he needed to know if what he saw was real. His mind was on the way her chest lifted after the medics said they had lost her. She had taken a gasp of air; she couldn't be dead. After he saw her breathe, Krad pushed him out of the dream. Before waking, he distantly heard Dark tell Krad that she had fought, that Krad was wrong, that Riku had wanted to live because of Daisuke. 

He approached the house as the ambulance was pulling out. Daisuke ran up to Risa, ready to ask if she was still alive. Risa was staring at the ground, thinking. 

"Harada-san?" He asked quietly. 

"She's alive." Daisuke felt a sense of comfort washed over him. _She's alive. She fought for me. Krad was wrong. She's alive. My Riku-san._

--- 

FIN

I'm debating on a sequel or an epilogue. But first, I want to rewrite this and get a beta reader. If anyone's interested, leave a message. 


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